Wickedly Funny Greetings Cards & Gifts

Prime Cards

Prime is the work of cartoonist Bev Williams. This collection of cards puts a humourous slant on people in their prime in all manner of everyday situations.

All cards are supplied blank, cello-wrapped with coloured envelopes.
Size approx 5” x 7” (140 x 185mm)

Click on the thumbnails below to view larger images

PC1 Blank Greetings Card

Caption reads:

Growing older is hard enough.without having to act it!

PC4 Blank Greetings Card

Caption reads:

Of course you can have the body of a 30 year old.........you'll just have to buy him one or two drinks first.

PC10 Blank Greetings Card

Caption reads:

I've decided to give up being a good example....I'll just be a terrible warning instead.

PC14 Blank Greetings Card

Caption reads:

When we grew up, we planned to be rich,we planned to be famous - I don't remember planning to be wrinkly.

PC18 Blank Greetings Card

Caption reads:

You know, if it weren't for marriage we might go through life thinking we had no faults at all.

PC20 Blank Greetings Card

Caption reads:

You want me to come upstairs and make love to you? It'll have to be one or the other.

PC25 Blank Greetings Card

Caption reads:

We have only one regret at our age - and that's all the sins we didn't commit.

PC26 Blank Greetings Card

Caption reads:

No botox, no facelift. Just a dimmer switch and much older boyfriends.

PC27 Blank Greetings Card

Caption reads:

Too much of a good thing - is just wonderful.

PC28 Blank Greetings Card

Caption reads:

You learn many things from golf - and how to suffer is one of them.

PC29 Blank Greetings Card

Caption reads:

How can I possibly weigh more? I always have salad with every meal.

PC30 Blank Greetings Card

Caption reads:

I haven't lost my mind....I know exactly where I left it.

PC32 Blank Greetings Card

Caption reads:

No darling, There are only four food groups - frozen, instant - and chocolate... Lots of chocolate.

PC35 Blank Greetings Card

Caption reads:

But look at the bright side - no matter how old you are - you are younger than you will ever be again.

PC36 Blank Greetings Card

Caption reads:

I see an unfortunate flaw in your plan to rid the world of women. No one will remember anyone's birthday.

PC38 Blank Greetings Card

Caption reads:

Aah - my darling! Still sweeping - or are you flying somewhere?

PC40 Blank Greetings Card

Caption reads:

I'm not joining a gym. I'm not doing exercises. If God wants me to touch my toes - he can put them on my head.

PC41 Blank Greetings Card

Caption reads:

I still miss my husband...but my aim is improving

PC42 Blank Greetings Card

Caption reads:

Do you think temptation - is avoiding us these says?

PC43 Blank Greetings Card

Caption reads:

My grandchildren are so fabulous... I think I should have had them first!

PC44 Blank Greetings Card

Caption reads:

I remember everything about my life. i just can't remember how many times I've told you

PC45 Blank Greetings Card

Caption reads:

Why don't we open a bottle? Which one - indigestion or jointease?

PC46 Blank Greetings Card

Caption reads:

These days one only drinks water...after killing the bacteria with whiskey.

PC47 Blank Greetings Card

Caption reads:

To hell with growing old gracefully! Let's have facelifts until our ear lobes meet.

PC48 Blank Greetings Card

Caption reads:

If you go around looking like that...people will think I married you for your money.

PC50 Blank Greetings Card

Caption reads:

What bit of me would I change? How about a complete refund.

PC51 Blank Greetings Card

Caption reads:

My partner finds sex so amusing... Regardless of what she's reading.

PC52 Blank Greetings Card

Caption reads:

There is nothing wrong with the bags under your eyes - as long as you have shoes to match.

PC53 Blank Greetings Card

Caption reads:

But I do believe a man's home is his castle....along with the washing machine, the iron and the wheelie bin.

PC54 Blank Greetings Card

Caption reads:

I think he's trying to put his computer password... into the microwave.

PC55 Blank Greetings Card

Caption reads:

She's one of those awful women..who always leave the toilet seat down.

PC56 Blank Greetings Card

Caption reads:

I'm totally relaxed, because I know everything I don't find - is in a very safe place - somewhere.

PC57 Blank Greetings Card

Caption reads:

You Keep complaining about the weather.....but you never do anything about it!

PC58 Blank Greetings Card

Caption reads:

I wouldn't hang it there. it's only a suggestion...but let's not forget who's making it!